Ski Vacation!

Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:

16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.

14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.

13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.

12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.

11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.

10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

8. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.

7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.

6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.

4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.

3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.

1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!

Ski Vacation resort

Ski Vacation St. Moritz

Bunny hill in Oregon.A ski area is a developed recreational facility, usually on a mountain or large hill, containing ski trails and vital supporting services. It is common for a ski area to have food, rental equipment, parking facilities and a ski lift system catering to the sports of skiing and snowboarding. Normally located in high mountain areas (or at least on well-built-up hills) for optimum snow coverage, they have become ubiquitous in areas where skiing is a popular pastime. The paths are usually marked and known as runs, trails or pistes. Ski areas typically have one or more chair lifts for moving skiers rapidly to the top of hills, and to interconnect the various pistes. Rope tows can also be used on short slopes (usually beginner hills or bunny slopes). Larger ski areas may use gondolas or aerial trams for transportation across longer distances within the ski area.

A ski resort is a ski area plus amenities to make it a destination resort. This includes a village of accommodations and other amenities adjacent to the ski area. Ski resorts often have other activities to engage in besides skiing and snowboarding, such as snowmobiling, sledding, horse-drawn sleds, dog-sledding, ice-skating, indoor or outdoor swimming, and hottubbing, game rooms, and local forms of entertainment, such as clubs, cinema, theatre and cabarets. Ski resorts may be self-contained and entirely devoted to ski tourism (for example Vail ski resort) or they may be near a village or town that had a significant existence before the ski resort was built, such as Jackson Hole, Wyoming or Park City, Utah.

Though skiing is less dangerous than many popular sports (such as bicycling, golf, football, swimming and weightlifting), it is widely perceived as being high risk, in part due to significant accident rates as recently as the 1970s. Nevertheless, ski areas usually have at least a basic first aid facility, and some kind of ski patrol service to ensure that injured skiers are rescued. The ski patrol is usually responsible for rule enforcement, marking hazards, closing individual runs (if a sufficient level of hazard exists), and removing (dismissing) dangerous participants from the area.

Ski resorts usually have hotels, bars and restaurants that offer après-ski activities, including cocktails, dining and live music. Traditional ski resorts often have health spas with saunas, hot tubs, masseuses, and swimming pools.

A mountain resort is a place to holiday or vacation located in mountains. Common activities include skiing, snowboarding, and ice skating, as well as summer activities such as hiking, mountain biking, golf, and tennis.