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"Kip Addotta Encyclopedia of People, Products, Services, Health & Entertainment"
Kip Addotta Encyclopedia of People, Products, Services, Health & Entertainment!

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Cargo

Cargo!

Cargo Joke

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. "More!" he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.

He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says "A pistol hit me on the head!"

They drive more and meet another boy who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle hit me on the head!"

They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask him, "Kid, what's so funny?" The boy replies, "I sneezed and a house blew up!"

Cargo

Cargo is a term used to denote goods or produce being transported generally for commercial gain, usually on a ship, plane, train, van or truck. Nowadays containers are used in most intermodal long-haul cargo transport.

Cargo represents a concern to U.S. national security. It was reported out of Washington, DC that in 2003 over 6 million cargo containers are entering the United States each year. After the terrorist attacks of September 11th, the security of this magnitude of cargo has become highlighted. The latest US Government response to this threat is the CSI: Container Security Initiative. CSI is a program intended to help increase security for containerized cargo shipped to the United States from around the world.

Cargo Marine Types

Container ship at Helsinki PortThere is a wide range of marine cargoes at seaport terminals operated. The primary types are these:

Containers are the largest and fastest growing cargo category at most ports worldwide. Containerized cargo includes everything from auto parts and machinery components to shoes, toys, and frozen meat and seafood.

Automobiles are handled at many ports.

Project cargoes and heavy lift cargoes may include items such as manufacturing equipment, factory components, power equipment such as generators and wind turbines, military equipment or almost any other oversized or overweight cargo too big or too heavy to fit into a container.

Break bulk cargo is typically material stacked on wooden pallets and lifted into and out of the hold of a vessel by cranes on the dock or aboard the ship itself. The volume of break bulk cargo has declined dramatically worldwide as containerization has grown.

Bulk Cargoes, such as salt, oil, tallow, and Scrap metal, are usually defined as commodities that are neither on pallets nor in containers, and which are not handled as individual pieces, the way heavy-lift and project cargoes are. Alumina, grain, gypsum, logs and wood chips, for instance, are bulk cargoes.

Cargo Plane

Air cargo is commonly known as freight. There are many businesses which collect freight and deliver it to the customer such as Nightfreight or UPS. Aircraft were first put to use carrying mail as cargo in 1911, but eventually manufacturers started designing planes just for freight. There are many commercial planes suitable for carrying cargo such as the Boeing 747. The military also owns many cargo planes such as the C-17 Globemaster III.

Cargo Train

Trains are capable of transporting large numbers of containers which have come off the shipping ports. Trains are also used for the transportation of steel, wood and coal. Trains are used as they can pull a large amount and generally have a direct route to the destination.

Cargo Van or Lorry Truck

There are many businesses which transport all types of cargo, ranging from letters to houses to cargo containers. These businesses such as Parcelforce or Federal Express which deliver fast and sometimes same day deliverly services. A good example of road cargo is for supermarkets, these reqiure deliveries every day to keep the shelves stacked with goods for sale. Retailers of all kinds rely upon delivery trucks, be they full size Semi Trucks or smaller delivery vans.



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Funny Jokes of the Day, funny stories, joke of the day, daily joke
All the
Kip Addotta CDs
You've Ever
Wanted!


The Comedian
of the United States

Yes,this is and has been the No. 1 novelty CD in the world. Why? Because this is the CD that contains Kip's hit Wet Dream,The Fish Song that people can't seem to get enough of. The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Kip's "Wet Dream"
The fish song...

$19.99

I Saw Daddy
Kissing Santa Clause

Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives
Kip's Newest CD...
$19.99

The Trouble Hole
The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Great Stand-up...
$19.99

Life In The Slaw Lane The music production on this CD is fantastic,thanks to the collaboration of Kip Addotta and Kim Bullard. These songs will simply make you feel good
Kip's Slaw Lane CD...
$19.99

I Hope I'm Not Out Of Line
Kip did this recording in Newport Beach California. Make Me Laugh had been airing for two years and everyone in the country was turned on to the kid from Rockford,IL. you can hear the sizzle. Listen and laugh
Kip's first Stand-up CD...
$19.99

Kip's 5 CD Collection! Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Save 20% on 5 CDs ...
$79.99

Jokes To Go Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Jokes you can tell...
$19.99

The Comedian
of the United States

Yes,this is and has been the No. 1 novelty CD in the world. Why? Because this is the CD that contains Kip's hit Wet Dream,The Fish Song that people can't seem to get enough of. The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Kip's "Wet Dream"
The fish song...

$19.99

I Saw Daddy
Kissing Santa Clause

Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives
Kip's Newest CD...
$19.99

The Trouble Hole
The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Great Stand-up...
$19.99

Life In The Slaw Lane The music production on this CD is fantastic,thanks to the collaboration of Kip Addotta and Kim Bullard. These songs will simply make you feel good
Kip's Slaw Lane CD...
$19.99

I Hope I'm Not Out Of Line
Kip did this recording in Newport Beach California. Make Me Laugh had been airing for two years and everyone in the country was turned on to the kid from Rockford,IL. you can hear the sizzle. Listen and laugh
Kip's first Stand-up CD...
$19.99

Kip's 5 CD Collection! Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Save 20% on 5 CDs ...
$79.99

Jokes To Go Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Jokes you can tell...
$19.99




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