Bonnie West!
Bonnie West
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Three Rednecks
Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie.As they start to come down, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
When the ambulance takes Cooter's body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, damn, somebody's gonna have to tell his wife.'
Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
A couple of hours later, Donnie comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?' 'Cooter's wife gave it to me.' Ronnie replies.
'What?! You told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, you must be Cooter's widow.'
She said, 'No, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow.'
And then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.'
Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Shit
Bitter election campaigns
The rest of the world cannot understand how after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can return to reality. For Instance Sarah Palin has invited to her great state of Alaska the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden.She has provided a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and has hired two other prominent men to assist them. Dick Cheney will instruct them in safe gun handling and Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins in the evening.
Read this slowly
Let it sink in.Does anybody out there have any memory of the reason given for the establishment of the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY during the Carter Administration? Anybody? Anything? No? Didn't think so!
Bottom line, we've spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency the reason for which not one person who reads this can remember. Ready? It was very simple, and at the time everybody thought it very appropriate.
The Department of Energy was instituted August 4,1977, TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL. HEY, PRETTY EFFICIENT, HUH?
AND NOW IT'S 2008, 31 YEARS LATER, AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS NECESSARY DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR, THEY HAVE 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES, AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES AND LOOK AT THE JOB THEY HAVE DONE! THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY 'WHAT WAS I THINKING?'
Ah yes, good ole bureaucracy. And now we are going to turn the Banking system over to them? God Help us.
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of crap.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service!
A pigeon can still leave a deposit on a Ferrari"
They failed and it closed.
Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?
