Vodka!

This guy does into a bar and says, "Hey barman, give me 6 double vodka's!"

The barman lines them up on the bar and goes, "Man, you must've had one hell of a day!"

The guy says, "Yeah, I just found out my older brother is gay."

Next day, the same guy comes into the same bar and orders the same drinks. The same barman is there and goes, "Now what?"

The guy goes, "I just found out my younger brother is gay, too."

Next day, same guy, same bar, same drinks. The barman goes,"Damn! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man replies, "Yeah, my wife!"

Vodka Derivation

I have mine in martinis. A bottle of Stolichnaya, a famous brand of Russian vodka.The origins of vodka (and of its name) cannot be traced definitively, but it is believed to have originated in the grain-growing region that now embraces Belarus, Poland, Ukraine, and western Russia. It also has a long tradition in Scandinavia.

Another possible origin of the word can be found in the Novgorod chronicle in records dated 1533, where the term "vodka" is used in the context of herbal alcoholic tinctures. A number of pharmaceutical lists contain the terms "vodka of bread wine" and "vodka in half of bread wine". As alcohol had long been used as a basis for medicines, this implies that the term vodka is a noun derived from the verb "vodit,'" "razvodit'", "to dilute with water." Hence "vodka of bread wine" would be a water dilution of a distilled spirit.

While the word could be found in manuscripts and in lubok, pictures with text explaining the plot, a Russian predecessor of the comic), it began to appear in Russian dictionaries in the mid-19th century.

Interestingly, other peoples in the area of vodka's probable origin have names for vodka with roots meaning "to burn": (Polish: gorzalka; Ukrainian, horilka; Belarusian, harelka; Lithuanian: degtine; Latvian: degvins).

Vodka History

Little is known about the early history of the drink in Europe. The first written record of vodka in Poland dates from 1405 in the Sandomierz Court Registry. In Russia, the first written usage of the word vodka in an official document in its modern meaning is dated by the decree of Empress Catherine I of June 8, 1751 that regulated the ownership of vodka distilleries.

Vodka is now one of the world's most popular spirits. It was rarely drunk outside Europe before the 1950s, but its popularity spread to the New World by way of post-war France. (Pablo Picasso once defined the most notable features of post-war France as "Brigitte Bardot, modern jazz, Polish vodka.") By 1975 vodka sales in the United States overtook those of bourbon whiskey, previously the most popular hard liquor. In the second half of the 20th century, vodka owed its popularity in part to its reputation as an alcoholic beverage that "leaves you breathless," as one ad put it no smell of liquor remaining detectable on the breath.

According to The Penguin Book of Spirits and Liqueurs, "Its low level of fusel oils and congenerics impurities that flavor spirits but that can contribute to the after-effects of heavy consumption led to its being considered among the 'safer' spirits, though not in terms of its powers of intoxication, which, depending on strength, may be considerable." (Pamela Vandyke Price, Harmondsworth & New York: Penguin Books, 1980.

The second half of the 1970s witnessed two massive attacks on the priority and rights of the Soviet Union to market liquors named "vodka". The first assault was along the lines that the Russian Revolution "discontinued" Russia's trademark for vodka, which was "naturally" transferred to emigrated manufacturers of vodka, Smirnoff in particular, because of prohibition by Soviets, so that officially the Soviet Union started manufacturing vodka in 1923. This was refuted fairly easily. The second assault, around 1977, by Poland, was more serious, and the Soviet Union undertook the historical research to substantiate Russia's priority, which was completed by 1979, and in 1982 the international arbitrage considered it convincing enough to grant the USSR the priority in vodka as Russian original alcoholic beverage and recognised the Soviet trademark motto "Only vodka from Russia is genuine Russian vodka". The author of the research published his findings under the alias William Pokhlebkin in the book A History of Vodka (see references below). Despite the clear bias of the exposition in the book towards the goal (to prove the Russian priority), it is a serious, substantiated research and reveals quite a few facts, as well as debunks a number of myths, on the origins of vodka, both as product and as name. After the collapse of the Soviet Union all Russian vodka distilleries (Most famous is Red October) were privatized amidst some criminal activity.

Vodka Production

Zodiac Luxury Potato vodkaVodka may be distilled from any starch/sugar-rich plant matter; most vodka today is produced from grains such as sorghum, corn, rye or wheat. Among grain vodkas, rye and wheat vodkas are generally considered superior. Some vodka is made from potatoes, molasses, soybeans, grapes and sometimes even byproducts of oil refining or wood pulp processing. In some Central European countries like Poland some vodka is produced by just fermenting a solution of crystal sugar and some salts for the yeast and distilling this after a few weeks. Today vodka is produced throughout the world, see List of vodkas.

Vodka Distilling and filtering

A common property of all vodkas is the extensive filtration and distillation process the product undergoes prior to any additional processing such as the addition of flavorants. Filtering is done in the still during distillation, as well as afterward, where the distilled vodka is filtered through charcoal and other media. The "stillmaster" is the person in charge of distilling the vodka and directing its filtration. When done correctly, much of the "fore-shots" or "heads" and the "tails" separated in distillation process are discarded. These portions of the distillate contain flavour compounds such as ethyl acetate and ethyl lactate (heads) as well as the fusel oils (tails) that alter the clean taste of vodka. Through numerous rounds of distillation, the taste of the vodka is neutralized as far as possible and its clarity is enhanced. In some distilled liquors such as rum and baijiu, some of the heads and tails are not removed in order to give the liquor its unique flavour and mouth-feel.

Proper distillation and excluding some of the heads also removes methanol from vodka (and other distilled liquors), which can be Poisonous in larger amounts. Methanol is formed when cellulose is fermented. This can be avoided by fermenting sugar with a high quality Turbo Yeast, so little methanol is formed. A fermentation of sugar, water, and Turbo Yeast will typically produce 1 ppm (one millionth) in the mash. This is much less methanol than found in ordinary orange juice, and about one twentieth of that found in commercial whisky and cognac.

Repeated distillation of vodka will make its ethanol level much higher than legally allowed. Depending on the distillation method and the technique of the stillmaster, the final filtered and distilled vodka may have as much as 80-95% ethanol. As such, most vodka is dilluted with water prior to bottling.

Vodka Flavoring

Apart from the alcoholic content, vodkas may be classified into two main groups: clear vodkas and flavored vodkas. From the latter ones, one can separate bitter tinctures, such as Russian Yubileynaya (jubilee vodka) and Pertsovka (pepper vodka).

While most vodkas are unflavored, a wide variety of flavored vodkas has long been produced in traditional vodka-drinking areas, often as homemade recipes to improve vodka's taste, or for medicinal purposes. Flavorings include red pepper, ginger, various fruit flavors, vanilla, chocolate (without sweetener), and cinnamon. Ukrainians produce a commercial vodka that includes St John's Wort. Poles and Belarusians add the leaves of the local bison grass to produce Zubr'wka vodka, with slightly sweet flavor and light amber colour. In Ukraine and Russia, vodka flavoured with honey and pepper (Pertsovka, in Russian, Z pertsem, in Ukrainian) is also very popular. In Poland, a famous vodka containing honey is called krupnik.

This tradition of flavoring is also prevalent in the Nordic countries, where vodka seasoned with various herbs, fruits and spices is the appropriate strong drink for all traditional seasonal festivities, midsummer in particular. In Sweden alone there are some forty-odd common varieties of herb-flavored vodka (kryddat br'nnvin). In Poland there is a separate category, nalewka, for vodka-based spirits with fruit, root, flower, or herb extracts, which are often homemade or produced commercially by small distilleries. Its alcohol content may vary from 15 to 75%.

The Poles also make a very pure (95%, 190 proof) rectified spirit (Polish language: spirytus rektyfikowany), which is used in a variety of ways. Technically a form of vodka, it is sold in liquor stores, not pharmacies. Similarly, the German market often carries German-/Hungarian-/Polish-/Ukrainian- made varieties of vodka of 90 to 95% alcohol content (as well as Stroh rum (not actualy a rum) of the same potency).

Vodka Other processing

Due to the high alcohol content of certain brands of vodka, it can be stored in ice or a freezer without any crystalization of water. In countries where alcohol levels are generally low (the USA for example, due to alcohol taxation levels varying directly with alcohol content), individuals sometimes increase the alcohol percentage by a form of freeze distillation. This is done by placing the vodka in an open vessel (bowl, etc) in the freezer, and then after it has reached a temperature below the freezing point of water, adding one or more ice cubes, to which the free water within the vodka will crystalize, leaving a higher alcohol concentration behind.

In some countries, black market or "bathtub" vodka is widespread, as it can be produced easily to avoid taxation. However, severe Poisoning, blindness, or death have been said to happen as a result of impurities, notably methanol. This pervasive Poisoning belief is due to moonshine lore, which abounds with myths of blindness, but few actual documented cases. The concern is due to the presence of methanol (wood alcohol), an optic nerve Poison, which can be present in small amounts when fermenting grains or fruits high in pectin.

Vodka Vodka and the EU

Vodka producers in Finland, Poland and Sweden are campaining for EU legislation that will categorise only spirits made from grain and potatoes as "Vodka" instead of any spirit made from any ethyl alcohol (provided, for example, from apples and grapes). This proposition has provoked heavy criticism from south European countries, which often distill used mash from wine-making into vodka. Any drink then not made from either grain or potatoes would then have to be labeled as "Spirit Drinks" instead.