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Personal lubricant!

So, speaking, um, hypothetically, what would you do if you had a house full of contractors on a Friday when you were home from work and when you went into your one working bathroom you discovered a tube of personal lubricant on the counter next to the sink? And it wasn’t yours? Or your husband’s? Or the dog’s?

Personal lubricant Comments

Personal lubricant Becky

I would assume two of the contractors were boinking each other in your bathroom that morning. Then I would get a major case of the heebies-jeebies. Not because it’s two guys, but because it’s two strangers boinking in your bathroom. I’d probably check the floor for, um, forensics, as well.

Personal lubricant Elizabeth Z.

Yikes! WTF? He better have been on break dammit!

Personal lubricant Amanda

I’d be thinking there wasn’t enough bleach in the WORLD to clean my bathroom.

Personal lubricant Chiara

I’'d be thinking it was time to install a webcam.

Personal lubricant Shel

Hmmm, well first and foremost I’d recommend that you don’t shake any of their hands today!

Personal lubricant Jonniker

I honestly am at a loss for words.

Personal lubricant Danell

I would wander out to the work area and shout HEY, WHO LEFT THIS IN MY BATHROOM? Just kidding. But I would want to.

Personal lubricant whoorl

OH. SWEET. JEBUS.

Personal lubricant gabby

I’m pretty sure I would burn said bathroom. And possibly my imagination. fellowmom

Personal lubricant Megan

Oh, my eyes! First you get me with the strange lube in the bathroom and then the Oozinator! I am scarred for life.

Personal lubricant biodtl

I would probably either hide it and wait for someone to ask for it (hoping for some legitmate pipe-laying reason) just to see if anyone did.

Or, I would walk out to where the contractors are working, pretending to be getting ready to load up my toothbrush, waving my brush and paste around as I chat with them, waiting to see if someone would speak up about what I was about to put in my mouth.

Hypothetically.

Personal lubricant Jessie

I don’t know if I think it’s hillarious or gross. Maybe there’s some justifiable construction use. I really, really hope there’s some justifiable construction use.

Personal lubricant Amanda

I would start peeing outside from now on.

Personal lubricant Tom

Oh. My. Gawd. If only you had a black light to shine on their hands

Personal lubricant can be Dangerous

I work in construction, and I don’t know of ANY justifiable use for Personal Lubricant. I don’t know of any contractor who would swallow his pride and carry that around in his tool box. What you have is some freaky contractors on your hands (and in your bathroom). Might aught to consider calling their supervisor about the matter just to be sure.

Personal lubricant Niki P.

I’m sure it’s a justifiable construction use- I just don’t know what it is! I would go out there and ask who left the lube in the BR and if it’s a good brand and would they use it again. Good fun!

Personal lubricant Lubiee

Maybe they use it with caulk?

Personal lubricant Jen

maybe it’s JB’s idea of a really funny joke? Maybe the contractors think that you are one of them and they are initiating you into their world? I’d like to think that because I am so FRIGGIN icked out otherwise.

Personal lubricant Kelly

It’s possible someone has a medical reason for needing it. Right? hopes like hell

Personal lubricant Wicked fun

Heeeee Sorry! I can’t help it. I am just sitting here thinking of some poor construction guy on his lunchbreak strokin’ it for all he is worth, obviously getting interrupted mid-ways through, and being so shaken he forgets to load the lube back in the old lunchbox

Now he knows that you have seen it, and is embarrassed to even be seen in the VICINITY of your bathroom, knowing that YOU know someone has been strokin’ it in there, and will be on the lookout for whoever moooooves the luuuuub.snicker

If it were me though, unless he was using my wedding picture as inspiration or something scary like that I would probably make some sort of silly sign for the back of the bathroom door thanking the anonymous luber for the webcam fodder, and mentioning how much your webtraffic at www.watchmepee.com increased with HIS cameo. ;-)

Personal lubricant Emily

Maybe one of those contractors was using it to clean his um drill. Or, fuck, maybe they have wild orgies when you’re not there, and that was just overlooked during cleanup.

Seriously? The possibilities are ENDLESS!

Personal lubricant wicked fun

OMG that is a real website!!! I had no idea!! LMAO

I am so sorry! Hope you don’t get bombarded by porn hounds now!

Personal lubricant Caitlin

Maybe one of the workers saw your WARMING MIST laying around and thought he’d offer another option, y’know, one lube consumer to another.

Ok, that was gross. But you made us watch the Oozinator!!!

Personal lubricant Sara

Do you watch (or did you watch) Six Feet Under? This reminds me of a particular episode. At any rate nasty! At first I was thinking maybe it’s for moisurizing hands? I hope? But really, there’s no excuse. But it’s funny, though, but mostly because it’s not in my bathroom!

Personal lubricant laura

I don’t know, but it’s reminding me of the time our plumber told my husband we needed O-ring lubricant for our well filter. When he tried to find it at Home Depot, he was told they don’t carry it because everyone just uses Vaseline. I can’t even type this without snickering, can you imagine having that conversation? So maybe your construction guys needed some O-ring lubricant, and one of them said, Hey, just use my personal lubricant instead?

I keep hoping and hoping that your guys had a legitimate plumbing reason for it. And I’m still snickering.

Personal lubricant jonniker

Is there a chance there was a legit reason, like for one of the tools? At all?

ANY CHANCE?

Personal lubricant Holly

I’d think that one of the contractors was horny, and cheap!

Oh what a winning combination!

Personal lubricant Chloe

I work in a hardware store, and we sell all sorts of lubricant. Though I am forced to giggle once someone walks away with some nice, moist, lubricant, because I am a 12 year old boy.

However, there is one type of lubricant that we DO NOT carry.

That is PERSONAL lubricant.

Personal lubricant warcrygirl

Kind of gives the phrase ‘working on the plumbing’ a whole new meaning.

Personal lubricant Pete

You have a cat don’t you? You can try replacing some of the lube with a clear deep heat lotion for a joke. As mentioned before, it can be used as an O-Ring lube. It is safe with condoms. Did you have any sinks being worked on? Or it could be used to help pull data cables though a conduit. Shiny smile maybe? This is why I hate to have anyone else work on my house.

Personal lubricant Donna

I thought the comments after the tell me about your strangest work experience entry were interesting these are better! Only at Sundry’s house, huh? Will this bathroom become the guest bathroom?

Personal lubricant Jem

Wow. Haha Pete, I like the idea of refilling it with Deep Heat. Or Superglue, and then you’ll be able to tell who’s been working in your bathroom. I’m sad that it has gone now.

Personal lubricant Donna

The ONLY thing I could think of is maybe to put on your hands after you wash them to make a waterproof seal for your skin to keep you from getting nail fungus, and athletes foot on your hands which can happen if your hands are wet all day from plumbing. Like a second skin. Puhleeeze let it be something like that. I second wicked fun’s idea for a sign for the door though, that’s some funnystuff there..

Personal lubricant Donna

Or wait I got it, someone is chafed between their legs, or between their cheeks, and needed to be um, slick? Dear God I’m giving this too much thought. This WAS the only laugh I’ve had all day though. Thanks for that!

Personal lubricant Megan

I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for the contractor’s lube in your bathroom. Isn’t there? I mean, why would a contractor need personal lube on the job, and why would he take it into his clients’ home? Maybe he has a medical condition? Right? Gah. You might as well scrub down the whole room with bleach and never think about it again.

Personal lubricant Sara A.

I used to use KY Jelly to snap the metal snaps on the soft top of my Jeep. I didn’t have the hand strength to get the snaps closed. if I used an oil-based lubricant, the snaps would eventually pop back open. With KY, I think it would just dry and the snaps stayed closed.

Personal lubricant Dawn

Hee!!! Maybe it was a not so subtle invitation for YOU from a horny contractor?

Personal lubricant thejunebug

Oh GROSS. Reading the comments was worse, though - I nearly peed myself laughing.

In all seriousness I second the suggestion of speaking with the foreman or supervisor, or actually of having JB do it. There’s a conversation I bet your hubs is just DYING to have!

Personal lubricant Sonia

Uh? Hmm. Soooo.? Didn’t they bring a Port-O-Potty and put it in your yard somewhere specifically for the workers to use? If not I think I’d spring for one. The only reason I can think of besides the seriously nasty ones, is that one of the guys has hemmorhoids. Okay, so that’s nasty too. But less obnoxiously offensive than the other reasons one might use personal lubricant. In your bathroom.

Personal lubricant guinevere

not that this is ANY Better, but maybe the guy has hemorrhoids. one of my good friends has hemorrhoids (he’s also a sick sick bastard for giving me details) and i was googling around trying to find cures for him and i came across an article that said to lube up yer bunghole before you poo (see? reeeeeeally not any better - i’m sorry!!) so it doesn’t hurt as much.

Personal lubricant justmouse

ewww, but also.BAH HA HA HA HA snork BAAAAH HA HA HA HA!

Personal lubricant Meghan

Dude, this entry was worth it (your pain and suffering) just to see the look on my husband’s face when I read it to him. He suggests you move.

Drooly kisses from our baby (Nathan) to yours, Sundry!

Personal lubricant Megan

The hemorrhoids suggestion is the least creepy. I go with that one.

Personal lubricant Kat

Okay - see, here’s the thing. If one of the guys was using it as some kind of substitute lube or genuine on the job product Hee, I bet he was on the job, why would he take it to the bathroom? Are they doing construction in there? Hmmm? It’s just - Eww, it’s gross. By the way, are there any female contractors in the group? Could it be a joke on one of them?

Personal lubricant Ew. Again, Ew.

I’d bleach the whole room.

Personal lubricant My Spin

ewwwwww.

Personal lubricant Motherhood Uncensored

Heh. I thought you were doing your product placement for the new KY Warm Mist.

Are they coming back? You should leave a note in the mirror in lipstick.

I know what you did in here you dirty bastard(s). And I think I need an addition put on my house. For free.

Personal lubricant Michelle

Hmm. I think I’d stop hiring my contractors from Brokeback Mountain Construction. Hee! OR.maybe he’s got himself one o’ them thar Ooozinators and he just forgot to put away the ammunition after reloading.

Personal lubricant Lori

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. can’t. breathe.

Personal lubricant Kaire

Well it does say all purpose on it.

Personal lubricant wealhtheow

Maybe he wants to engage in a threesome with you and JB, and that was his first delicate overture. Subtle, no?

Personal lubricant Brian

I’d be thinking its time to replace everything in the bathroom including those curling tongs O_o

Personal lubricant Sleepless Mama

When I lived in military family housing, some of the old houses were being torn down and replaced with newer, crapNapier homes by civilian contractors. A friend of mine moved into her brand-new, never-been-lived-in-before house. Wedged into the tracks for the garage door was a turkey baster.

When she moved out a couple of years later, she was more than willing to inform the housing manager that, as her contract stipulated, she was leaving the house EXACTLY the way she found it, turkey baster and all. No amount of cajoling or latex gloves would make her touch that thing.

Personal lubricant

Personal lubricants are specialized lubricants which serve to reduce friction with the vagina, the anus, or other body parts. Personal lubricants were originally derived from surgical lubricants designed for use during medical procedures, but are now also used frequently to provide lubrication for sexual practices. Some of these lubricants are scented and/or flavoured. For example, some lubricants may have the scent/flavour of apple or cinnamon.

Personal lubricant Lubricant types

Personal lubricant By chemical basis

Personal lubricant Water-based

Water-based personal lubricants are water soluble and are generally the type that is least irritating to body surfaces (particularly mucous membranes). The earliest water-based lubricants were cellulose or glycerin solutions. Subsequent products have added various agents for spreading, water retention, and resistance to contamination. The viscosity of these products can be adjusted by adjusting their water content and concentration of cellulose (or other gel-forming macromolecule). They do have a tendency to dry out during use, but application of additional water is often sufficient to re-activate them. These properties lead to their frequent use for sexual activity.

Since the 1980s, a few companies have used a water soluble, silicon co-polymer (dimethicone), for a prolonged slippery effect. While these contain a silicone component, they are still water based products. They are very slippery, which can be a disadvantage because a certain amount of friction is necessary for optimal sensation, their viscosity cannot be adjusted, and they can stain clothing and sheets.

Typical water-based lubricants are incompatible with many sex acts that occur in water (such as in a bathtub or hot tub) as they can be dissolved or dispersed in water. About J-Lube this author states, "It will even stay on skin for quite a while under a constant stream of water, such as a shower or even underwater in a bath."

Popular personal lubricant brands include K-Y Jelly, Astroglide,YES, Firefly, ID Lubricants, ForPlay / 510k approved, SLIP / 510k approved, PrePair / 510k approved, O'My, Sliquid, Durex PLAY, Maxoderm Connection, Triesco, and Ready lube.

Personal lubricant J-Lube

One of the least expensive lubricants is a concentrate known as J-Lube. It is used as a veterinary lubricant and special-effects slime ingredient. J-Lube is sometimes used as a sexual lubricant, especially in some sexual sub-communities. It is usually purchased as a powder, which consists of polyethylene oxide mixed with sucrose as a dispersing agent, and produces an extremely slippery lubricant when mixed with water.

Personal lubricant Oil-based

Unlike water-based lubricants, oil-based lubricants, such as Vaseline, dissolve latex and are likely to reduce the effectiveness of latex condoms as a contraceptive and protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Oil-based lubricants should never be used for either anal sex or vaginal sex, as the oil may coat the lining of the opening, providing a haven for bacterial infection. (Oil-based lubricants can only safely be used for anal sex if all involved participants are STD-negative, and even then, protected sex may not be "safe sex" for days afterwards, as the oil-based lubricant has a tendency to linger in the anus.)

Although petroleum jelly (i.e. Vaseline) is inexpensive and readily available, it can often be difficult to clean off the body after sexual activity, due to the fact that it is not water soluble. Clear, bottled mineral oil (commonly used as an oral laxative), or baby oil, is a less viscous alternative to petroleum jelly and is easier to wash off the skin.

Personal lubricant Vegetable-based oils

One might also consider a vegetable oil like rice bran oil or coconut oil, if the smell can be tolerated. The smell of olive oil may be preferred. Improvised lubricants may cultivate pathogens, especially foods. More details are in other sections.

Medicinal Castor oil was the original vegetable-based surgical lubricant.

Cocoa butter may also be used.

Personal lubricant Silicone-based

Technically, most silicone-based lubricants are oils, as they are chemically hydrophobic. They tend to retain lubrication longer than water-based lubricant, however most are safe to use with latex condoms. Always check the label of the lubricant before use.

Silicone-based lubricants are not recommended to use with silicone-based sex toys. The lubricants dissolve the surface of the toys, making them sticky and causing them to slowly disintegrate. Pre-lubricated condoms usually use a silicone lubricant and should therefore not be used with silicone-based sex toys. One website claimed that a pure silicone toy showed no obvious harm from silicone lubricants. Most toys claiming to be "silicone" are blends of silicone and cheaper materials.

Silicone-based lubricants are not always as slippery as the other kinds listed here, and the resulting friction may cause a condom to break.

Popular brands include ID Millennium, Eros, S liquid Silver, Wet Platinum, and DeGLOW. Liquid Silk has some silicone.

Personal lubricant and Specialty lubricants

"Specialty" lubricants are designed to cause physiological or physical changes to the area applied; these include warming lubricants, which cause a heating sensation in the skin. Breathing on these types of lubricants can increase the effect. Another type of specialty lubricant can increase blood flow to the regions in which they are applied, creating a fuller erection of the penis or clitoris; these may contain vasodilators to theoretically increase blood flow after topical application. Others include flavored lubricants.

Popular brands include ID Lubricants, Firefly Natural Lubricant, Wet fun flavors, O'My, Sliquid, KY Jelly (warming lubricant), and Thermal warming lubricant (with the vasodilator L-arginine).