Miss!
Miss Joke
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Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1.00 per word."
The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."
"Comfortable?" the guy questions.
"Yes, you see she reads slow."
Miss
I have noticed that people seem to have no idea of how to refer to or talk to women, if they do not know the woman's name.Let me offer a few guidelines.
When addressing a female it is not necessary to mention her station, age, marital status or looks. All of these can get you into trouble. If you say, "Hey lady" she might think that you are objectifying her. If a man says, "Listen girl" she could think that you are inferring that she has no experience. If you say, "Madam" what she hears is old.
There is one term that will never get you into trouble. This magical term is "Miss." Women will gladly answer to "Miss" no matter what their marital status, age or looks are. You can address a women of ninety as "Miss" and she will not only accept it, she will think that you are kind, intelligent and experienced. Mrs. Jones may be happily married but when she is not with her husband she will delight in being called "Miss." "Miss" is the secret word that never fails to get you points.
Also, "You look good in that outfit" will be taken as "You look good in that outfit but not in the other outfits you wear. The correct way to say it is, "You make that outfit look great!" "You look good" is better than, "You look good, today", as opposed to some other day.
Furthermore, women and men do not want to hear who they look like even if the person, you think they look like, is rich, young and beautiful! If you insist on being one of these idiots who go around telling people who they look like, here is how to do it.
"You look like Nicole Kidman" will get you into trouble. Believe it or not, the women you are addressing may not have a high opinion of Nicole Kidman, "Nicole Kidman looks like you" will be accepted! "You look like Brad Pitt" is wrong! "Brad Pitt reminds me of you" will be tolerated.
If you want to avoid trouble all together, it is wise to never infer that one person looks like someone else. You see, we all want to believe that we look like ourselves which is always closer to the truth! Think about it. When have you felt good about someone telling you that you look like someone else?
Miss
Miss is a title typically used for an unmarried woman (not entitled to a higher title). It is a contraction of Mistress, originating during the 17th Century. Its counterpart, Mrs., is used for married women.Miss Usage
Miss can be used in direct address to a woman, for example, May I help you, Miss? Some women consider this disrespectful and prefer ma'am (or madam in the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth). By British tradition, Miss is often used by schoolchildren to address female teachers without using their name, regardless of marital status.In some styles of etiquette, the eldest daughter of a family was addressed on paper simply as Miss Doe, with the younger daughters being addressed as Miss Jane Doe and Miss Rebecca Doe. In person, as in when making introductions, the styling would have been extended to unmarried cousins with the same surname.
In the American South, Miss is also traditionally used irrespective of marital status and added to a woman's first name in direct or indirect address, as Miss Ellen from Gone with the Wind or Miss Ellie from Dallas. This form was also used in upper class households in all English-speaking countries by servants to address or refer to the unmarried ladies of the household, and occasionally in family-run businesses in the same manner, though more commonly it was used to address servants if they were addressed by title at all; such usages are rare today.
Miss was formerly the default title for a businesswoman, but it has largely been replaced by Ms. in this context. It was (and to some extent remains) also a default title for celebrities, such as actresses (Miss Helen Hayes, Miss Amelia Earhart). Such default usage has also proved problematic; the poet Dorothy Parker was often referred to as Miss Parker, even though Parker was the name of her first husband and she herself preferred Mrs. Parker. Later in the century, the use of "Miss" or "Mrs" became a problem for the New York Times in referring to political candidate Geraldine Ferraro, a married woman who did not use her husband's surname, since Mrs has only been used with a woman's maiden name in limited circumstances. (See more at Mrs.) Current American etiquette states that Ms. is preferred for a woman who has kept her maiden name after marriage and in a business setting where one is not sure of how the woman wants to be addressed. While Miss can be used it is usually reserved for girls under eighteen.
Another notable use of Miss is as the title of a beauty queen (given that in most pageants it is a requirement that contestants be unmarried), such as Miss America, Miss Universe, or Miss Congeniality.
Other languages, such as French, Spanish, Bulgarian, and Portuguese, have borrowed the English Miss to refer to the winner of a beauty pageant.
Miss can be used in the plural, as Misses. The usage The Misses Doe was often used in the United Kingdom to refer to unmarried sisters, but this usage is now largely obsolete.
In India, a female school teacher is usually addressed as "Miss". The "Miss" is usually postfixed such as "Shanti Miss" when referring to them in absence. All students rise and say in chorus "Good Morning Miss" when the teacher enters the class.
