Expensive!
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This weekend's sermon is about sacrificing for Comic righteousness. Yes, doing the funny thing is not always easy, as we discussed a few weeks ago, and sometimes doing the funny thing is not always cheap. But, as good Comedists, we must put the punchline before the bottom line; to truly serve the will of the Cosmic Comic, we must value a great joke more than gold.
And no one teaches us this lesson better than Gerald Ratner. Mr. Ratner was the son of the founder of Ratner's, British jewelry retailer, and eventually became the company's chief executive where his business savvy built the company up into an extremely large and successful chain. As chief executive, it was his job to address the company's Institute of Directors. In April 1991, the gathering was held at the Royal Albert Hall and the good Mr. Ratner took the stage.
A joke, at such occasions, often loosens up the crowd. So Mr. Ratner uncorked a classic.
We also do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray that your butler can serve you drinks on, all for 4.95. People say, 'How can you sell this for such a low price?' I say, 'because it's total crap.'" The joke went over extremely well...at first. It brought the house down...and then it brought the company down.
Reporting of the joke caused the brand to itself become a joke and sales plummeted. On the brink of financial implosion, Mr. Ratner was fired as chief executive, removed from the board of company, and in the end his total monetary losses totaled half a billion pounds...that's ONE BILLION US DOLLARS, uh huh, Gerald Ratner is the man who told a $1,000,000,000.00 joke.
Mr. Ratner, Comedists everywhere stand in awe of your righteousness (except those who are physically challenged, of course, but they are damn impressed too.) May we all learn to live by your example. You may have become the butt of many a joke, but we consider you a holy man. Please always know we are there to laugh with you in addition to at you.
But if I may be so brazen as to dare to make a suggestion to you Mr. Ratner, a wise guy so great, might I humbly raise the possibility that on the homepage of your new on-line jewelry retail outlet, Gerald Online, you begin to include a "joke of the day."
So the moral to take away from this week's Comedist meditation is that laughs are worth more than silver or gold...but, of course, if you can get an agent with William Morris because of your stand-up act, you should probably still do it.
Live, love, and laugh.
How to Afford Expensive Things
The notion of doing less and achieving more is seductive because it leads you to believe that performing like a rifle, and not a shotgun, yields greater results. Caution: this advice is misleading and even counterproductive.If you choose the life of a Vaudevillian, then less is more. Pack light, eat light, carry a mandolin, and enjoy the nomadic lifestyle. If you choose the life of an entrepreneur, businessperson, or parent, then managing multiple tasks requires a deliberate strategy. Beware of theories suggesting you can manage a career by checking email every Tuesday, returning phone calls once a week, and outsourcing your exercise routine. You cant make an omelet without eggs. When opportunity knocks, you must be there to answer the door, the phone and the email in a timely fashion and you can accomplish this without obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Instead of text messaging while weaving through crowded city streets, or making phone calls while driving at high speeds, funnel these activities into productive blocks of time (early morning, lunch hour, waiting for an appointment). Try to postpone phone calls until you find an environment conducive to clear thinking and communication. Most activities can wait an hour, and youll recognize a true emergency when you see one. Find the balance between multi-tasking to a fault and taking a week to reply to simple email queries. Be accessible, return calls promptly, and eliminate unimportant tasks.
Remember that theres an actual person waiting to get closure on tasks and answers for previously raised questions. Make time for professionalism and you will always be respected by those whom you will soon wish extend you the same courtesy.
Ken Lodi is a peak performance consultant and author. He enables organizations to leverage their talents through improved productivity and communication skills. What does lost productivity cost your company? Find out: www.kenlodi.com 323-932-1026
Expensive
A million dollar home in Salinas, CA. Such homes, also referred to as McMansions are now rather common expensives in the United States.A expensive is something, usually an expensive or rare object, that indicates a high social status for its owner.Expensive Derivation
The expression "expensive" was first recorded in 1955 but gained wide currency through the 1959 best selling book The Status Seekers, in which the journalist Vance Packard described American social stratification and behavior.Expensive by region and time
What is considered a expensive will differ between countries, based on the states of their economic and technological development, and common expensives will change over time. For example, before the invention of the printing press, having a large collection of books would be considered a expensive. After the advent of the printing press, having books was more common among the average citizen, and the possession of books was less of a expensive. In the past, pearls and jade were major expensives. Another common expensive in the past which is still somewhat present today is heraldry, or one's family name.Expensives also indicate the cultural values of a society. For example, in a commercial society, having money or wealth and things that can be bought by wealth, such as cars, houses, or fine clothing, are considered expensives. In a society that values honour or bravery, a battle scar would be more of a expensive.
The condition of one's body can be a expensive. In times past, when workers did physical labour outdoors under the sun and often had little food, being pale and fat was a expensive, indicating wealth and prosperity, through having enough food and not having to do manual labour. Now, when workers usually do less-physical work indoors and find little time for exercise, being tanned and thin is often a expensive.
Expensive Examples in Western society
A Mercedes-Benz luxury sedan is an example of a expensive in the United States, as luxury vehicles are perhaps the most common expensive found in western culture.In a Western society, possessions perceived as expensives include:Expensive The trophy wife
A large, expensive house. Expensive luxury cars, SUVs, yachts, or aircraft.Expensive clothes.
Country club membership
Frequent luxury vacations
A marketable degree from a prestigious university, especially the Ivy League in the
United States.
Expensive jewelry.
Expensive gadgets such as a large home theatre.
A fountain pen with rare Brazilian, Indian or
African woods (e.g., ebony, mahogany), precious metals, and rare jewels.
Vacation homes.
Vineyards.
