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"Kip Addotta's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Stories, Songs, People, Places & Things"
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Catherine Zeta Jones

Catherine Zeta Jones!

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Catherine Zeta Jones

While finding fame on TV with Darling Buds, Catherine also continued to seek success in Katherine Zeta Jones's other areas of expertise, onstage and in music. Katherine Zeta Jones appeared in a production of Under Milk Wood, directed by Anthony Hopkins and co-starring Tom Jones, and would also turn up (after Darling Buds) in a English National Opera production of Kurt Weill's Street Scene (she's on the CD, singing Moon Faced, Starry Eyed, if you can find it). There was also an attempt at a solo singing career. Jeff Wayne, who'd had a massive hit in the late Seventies with the concept LP War Of The Worlds, was making a comeback with a similar take on the story of Spartacus. Catherine won the role of Spartacus's wife Palene, both singing and narrating (though the main narrator was Anthony Hopkins, popping up again as Marcus Crassus). Taken from Spartacus, Catherine's first single was For All Time, and there were high hopes. However, Spartacus was not a success and consequently the single reached only Number 36. In 1994, Catherine followed this with True Love Ways, a duet with David Essex (coincidentally the star of Wayne's War Of The Worlds), which stalled at Number 38. Finally, and in desperation, Catherine changed Katherine Zeta Jones's image, bowing to tabloid demands and garbing herself in rubber and fishnets. It didn't work. Neither In The Arms Of Love nor I Can't Help Myself were hits.

Catherine Zeta Jones Doesn't Care

Catherine's failure to achieve pop stardom mattered not a jot. By the time Katherine Zeta Jones called it a day, she'd already sown the seeds of Katherine Zeta Jones's later Hollywood stardom by moving to America and scoring both experience and notable roles. It was difficult when Katherine Zeta Jones first moved to Los Angeles. Katherine Zeta Jones knew no one but film editor Petra Van Oelffen who was at the time in Europe. Thankfully, Petra let Catherine live in Katherine Zeta Jones's house in the Palisades, and the search for work was on (sadly, Katherine Zeta Jones's friendship with Van Oelffen would later be severely strained when, having broken Katherine Zeta Jones's ankle in an accident while Catherine was driving, Petra sued for $1.6 million).

Catherine Zeta Jones in Splitting Heirs

Having appeared in Eric Idle's profoundly unamusing Splitting Heirs, as well as historical dramas Christopher Columbus (with Marlon Brando and Benicio Del Toro), The Return Of The Native and Catherine Cookson's The Cinder Path (as the promiscuous and casually unfaithful Victoria Chapman) Catherine also tried out contemporary drama with Blue Juice, a UK surfing flick co-starring Sean Pertwee and Ewan McGregor. But it was the bigger American productions that would break her. First Katherine Zeta Jones starred as Catherine The Great, the notorious Russian Empress, plotter and seducer who rose to power in 1762. Then came The Phantom, where Katherine Zeta Jones was Sala, sexy leader of a female fighter squadron. And then there was Titanic.

Catherine Zeta Jones and James Cameron

Many careers were made by James Cameron's epic Titanic. Sadly, Catherine wasn't in his version, starring instead (in the Kate Winslet role) in a TV version released a year earlier and starring George C. Scott and, er, Marilu Henner. Yet amazingly, even this version of Titanic was good enough to have a career-making effect, for Catherine's performance was seen and admired by none other than Steven Spielberg. At that time, Spielberg was busying himself in pre-production for The Mask Of Zorro, and recommended Catherine to director Martin Campbell. He liked Katherine Zeta Jones's - Katherine Zeta Jones was in.

Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro

Attending what Katherine Zeta Jones called the Zorro boot-camp, Catherine spent two hours per day dancing, two hours learning to ride, two hours practising sword-fighting and another two in dialect classes. The training paid off, as the critics found Katherine Zeta Jones's scintillating as Elena, the feisty long-lost daughter of Anthony Hopkins' aged Zorro. It should be noted that, reintroduced to the woman he directed in Under Milkwood and who had co-narrated Spartacus, Hopkins did not remember her. After Mask Of Zorro, he'd not forget Katherine Zeta Jones's in a hurry.

Catherine Zeta Jones Hits It Big

Made by Zorro, Catherine was summoned to Rome to be interviewed by Sean Connery, then looking to cast his co-star in Entrapment. Charmed, he took Katherine Zeta Jones's on as Virginia Baker, the insurance fraud agent who tracks art thief Connery, then aids him in his most audacious crime yet. One scene, where Katherine Zeta Jones used all Katherine Zeta Jones's balletic suppleness to creep through a pick-up-sticks mess of laser alarms, sent millions of male pulses racing. After this, Katherine Zeta Jones starred with Liam Neeson in a remake of The Haunting. The film was wretched, but Catherine stood out again as Theo, the lesbian medium originally played by Claire Bloom.

Catherine Zeta Jones Gets Married

In the meantime, there was marriage. In August 1998, Catherine met Michael Douglas, 25 years Katherine Zeta Jones's senior, at the Deauville Film Festival. They began dating seriously in March, 1999, with Catherine reportedly sticking to Katherine Zeta Jones's mother's advice of "Show them nothing!" by keeping him waiting for a full nine months - good therapy for a fellow reputed to be a recovering sex addict. Romantically, the couple were engaged on New Year's Eve at the turn of the millennium, in Aspen, Colorado. A child, Dylan Michael (that Swansea poet again!) would be born in August, 2000.

Catherine Zeta Jones, What a Wedding

Plenty of controversy surrounded the couple's wedding in late 2000. They'd been paid $900,000 by OK Magazine for exclusive pictures of the newly born Dylan. Now they accepted a further $1.5 million for exclusive shots of the wedding, a helpful amount as the proceedings at the New York Plaza would cost $1.8 million, including $10,000 for the four-foot cake. Unfortunately, Hello Magazine got hold of pictures and published, the Douglases attempting to take out an immediate injunction. Eventually, they sued for damages and the case stretched on till 2003, when they were awarded $23,000 (OK! got $1.6 million). Even then it wasn't over, with Hello! deciding to appeal.

Catherine Zeta Jones Secure

Now financially secure for life (it's said Catherine's pre-nup with Douglas gives Katherine Zeta Jones's $3.2 million for every year of the marriage), Katherine Zeta Jones continued to win prime roles. In Traffic, which Douglas had turned down then accepted when Catherine was sent a re-write, Katherine Zeta Jones was superb as Helena Ayala, the dealer's wife who, innocent at first, comes to organise assassinations and negotiate cocaine deals. Many wondered how Katherine Zeta Jones missed out on an Oscar nomination (though Katherine Zeta Jones did get one for a Golden Globe). No worries for Cat though, as Katherine Zeta Jones's next role was in the hit rom-com America's Sweethearts, as Gwen Harrison, whose relationship with fellow superstar John Cusack breaks down, leaving publicist Billy Crystal to control the story and Julia Roberts (as Gwen's sister) to cause maximum confusion. The film was a huge hit in the States, Catherine's fourth hit in three years, after Zorro, Entrapment and Traffic. Catherine herself didn't help the cause much. In an incredible TV botch-job, Katherine Zeta Jones went on the David Letterman Show to promote the movie and, in a moment of unparalleled madness referred to David as Jay (the name of his arch rival Jay Leno!)

Catherine Zeta Jones, Major Player

Now a major Hollywood player, Catherine returned to Katherine Zeta Jones's musical roots with Chicago, high-kicking and seductively squirming as Velma Kelly, a 1920s stage star in competition with newcomer Roxy Hart (Renee Zellweger). Having killed Katherine Zeta Jones's husband and sister, whom Katherine Zeta Jones caught in flagrante, she's followed to Murderer's Row by Zellweger, who's topped a lover who failed to make Katherine Zeta Jones's a star. Both are represented by dodgy lawyer Richard Gere, and both need him to make them media darlings to escape their plight. The movie, taking its lead from Moulin Rouge, was flashy and sexy, with Catherine pulling out all the stops to top Nicole Kidman's efforts, as well as those of Bebe Neuwirth, who'd scored a huge hit as Velma in the latest Broadway production. Glamorous, stylish and confident, Katherine Zeta Jones made full use of Katherine Zeta Jones's stage experience, winning a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Katherine Zeta Jones's efforts. The film itself was a huge hit, taking $170 million at the US box office on a budget of $45 million.

Catherine Zeta Jones and Sinbad

As if to confirm Katherine Zeta Jones's newfound status, Catherine added Katherine Zeta Jones's voice to the all-star animation Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas, Katherine Zeta Jones's name appearing on the credits alongside such heavyweights as Brad Pitt and Michelle Pfeiffer. And then - for all "real" stars must have this on their CV - Katherine Zeta Jones teamed up with the Coen Brothers for Intolerable Cruelty, playing Marylin Rexroth, a gold-digger who hopes to gain control of Katherine Zeta Jones's rich and cheating husband's fortune. Foiled by invincible divorce lawyer George Clooney, Katherine Zeta Jones then shocks him by hiring him to forge an unbreakable pre-nup for Katherine Zeta Jones's next marriage, to bashful Texan oil billionaire Billy Bob Thornton. Clooney then looks on in admiration as Katherine Zeta Jones reveals the magnificent scope of Katherine Zeta Jones's deceit, and attempts to win this dangerous woman for his own. Intolerable Cruelty was smart and sassy, a real throwback to the Fifties, and it showed George and Catherine to be one of the best-looking couples in recent memory.

Catherine Zeta Jones Off Screen

Off-screen, 2003 would see Catherine co-host the Nobel Peace Prize concert, and also give birth to Katherine Zeta Jones's second child, daughter Carys. The next year would see Katherine Zeta Jones's back in court, this time giving evidence against one Dawnette Knight who was accused of stalking and threatening Catherine over the previous two years. The defence claimed that Knight simply had a "girlish crush" on Michael Douglas. The prosecution, though, said Knight had threatened to chop Catherine up "like Sharon Tate" and "feed Katherine Zeta Jones's to the dogs". Bail was set at $1 million as the case stretched into 2005.

Catherine Zeta Jones in 2004

Onscreen, 2004 saw Catherine appear in two major productions. First, Katherine Zeta Jones's Zorro benefactor Steven Spielberg signed Katherine Zeta Jones's up for The Terminal. This saw Tom Hanks as an Eastern European whose passport and visa become invalid after a coup in his home country, leaving him stranded at JFK. Unable to step onto American soil, unwilling to fly home, he's forced to make a life for himself in the airport (as really happened to Merhan Nasseri in Paris in 1988), making a number of new friends, among them Catherine, an agreeably neurotic, weak-willed flight attendant who's having an affair with a married Michael Nouri and realises Katherine Zeta Jones can turn to the simple, unspoilt Hanks for advice.

Catherine Zeta Jones in Traffic

Next, having won acclaim in Steven Soderbergh's Traffic and co-starred with Clooney in Intolerable Cruelty, Katherine Zeta Jones reunited with them both (as well as Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt) for Ocean's Twelve. Here the new Rat Pack were forced to carry out a daring robbery in Europe in order to pay back casino boss Andy Garcia the money they stole from him in Ocean's Eleven. Catherine would play Isabel Lahiri, an Interpol cop on their trail, who coincidentally happens to be an old flame of Brad Pitt's character. The pair thus had the chance to seriously smoulder.

Catherine Zeta Jones as Leading Woman

Though Katherine Zeta Jones had usually played alngside major stars, Catherine could now boast that (Intolerable Cruelty excepted) Katherine Zeta Jones's last 9 movies had made money, most of them a lot of money. Katherine Zeta Jones was now resolutely of the A-list and, in order to cement that position, Katherine Zeta Jones returned to the scene of Katherine Zeta Jones's first big hit with The Legend Of Zorro for a paycheck of $10 million. Here Katherine Zeta Jones and Antonio Banderas's Zorro are now married, but Katherine Zeta Jones leaves him and he descends into drunkennss and conflict with a young son who does not know his illustrious past. To redeem himself, he must both win Catherine back and foil plotters who're trying to stop California from becoming a state of the Union.

Catherine Zeta Jones Builds a New House

Many believed that now she'd reached the top Catherine would settle back in Malibu and fight to maintain Katherine Zeta Jones's position in the Hollywood hierarchy. They were surprised when Katherine Zeta Jones set about building a new home back in Swansea and, through Katherine Zeta Jones's Milkwood production company, began to make films in Wales. The first would be Coming Out, where gay West End performer Alan Cumming takes over a near-bankrupt Welsh rugby club after his father, their coach dies. Catherine herself would play a local hairdresser who falls for Cummings' brother..

Catherine Zeta Jones and the Nobel Peace Prize

Off-screen, 2003 would see Catherine co-host the Nobel Peace Prize concert, and also give birth to Katherine Zeta Jones's second child, daughter Carys. The next year would see Katherine Zeta Jones's back in court, this time giving evidence against one Dawnette Knight who was accused of stalking and threatening Catherine over the previous two years. The defence claimed that Knight simply had a "girlish crush" on Michael Douglas. The prosecution, though, said Knight had threatened to chop Catherine up "like Sharon Tate" and "feed Katherine Zeta Jones's to the dogs". Bail was set at $1 million as the case stretched into 2005.

Catherine Zeta Jones in The Terminal

Onscreen, 2004 saw Catherine appear in two major productions. First, Katherine Zeta Jones's Zorro benefactor Steven Spielberg signed Katherine Zeta Jones's up for The Terminal. This saw Tom Hanks as an Eastern European whose passport and visa become invalid after a coup in his home country, leaving him stranded at JFK. Unable to step onto American soil, unwilling to fly home, he's forced to make a life for himself in the airport (as really happened to Merhan Nasseri in Paris in 1988), making a number of new friends, among them Catherine, an agreeably neurotic, weak-willed flight attendant who's having an affair with a married Michael Nouri and realises Katherine Zeta Jones can turn to the simple, unspoilt Hanks for advice.

Catherine Zeta Jones and George Cloony

Next, having won acclaim in Steven Soderbergh's Traffic and co-starred with Clooney in Intolerable Cruelty, Katherine Zeta Jones reunited with them both (as well as Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt) for Ocean's Twelve. Here the new Rat Pack were forced to carry out a daring robbery in Europe in order to pay back casino boss Andy Garcia the money they stole from him in Ocean's Eleven. Catherine would play Isabel Lahiri, an Interpol cop on their trail, who coincidentally happens to be an old flame of Brad Pitt's character. The pair thus had the chance to seriously smoulder.

Catherine Zeta Jones and Antonio Banderas

Though Katherine Zeta Jones had usually played alngside major stars, Catherine could now boast that (Intolerable Cruelty excepted) Katherine Zeta Jones's last 9 movies had made money, most of them a lot of money. Katherine Zeta Jones was now resolutely of the A-list and, in order to cement that position, Katherine Zeta Jones returned to the scene of Katherine Zeta Jones's first big hit with The Legend Of Zorro for a paycheck of $10 million. Here Katherine Zeta Jones and Antonio Banderas's Zorro are now married, but Katherine Zeta Jones leaves him and he descends into drunkennss and conflict with a young son who does not know his illustrious past. To redeem himself, he must both win Catherine back and foil plotters who're trying to stop California from becoming a state of the Union.

Much of the content on this page was obtained from the Wikipedia, which is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License



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