Kip Addotta's CDs!

Your Call is Important to Us!

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'

The blond headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the monstrous creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blond struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.

Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration......

CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO! I do not feel like I'm alone when I think that if my call were so important someone would run to the phone and pick it up. If you work for a company that uses this phrase to answer their incoming calls you might want to let them know that they're not fooling anyone. Even the dullest among us know that our calls are not important to you. Let your boss know that all the fake courtesy we have to listen to when we call in is simply a transparent way of fending us off until your highly understaffed company can get to our 'Very Important" call.

We wait patiently while some friendly sounding huckster reads off a bunch of choices that are meant to stiff arm us into going to your web site to peruse through a list of what you call "commonly" asked questions. And we know that none of these pre-invented questions will have anything to do with what we are calling about.

We wait patiently while your hired mouthpiece goes through a long list of options that will relieve you from picking up the phone. We wait because we know that at the end of your endless list of choices they will get to the last one which we all know is the choice we are all after. You guessed it! We want to talk to someone. Anyone! Have the janitor pick up the damn phone. Then he or she can tell us what in hell you are doing while we are making a call that is "important to you."

Yes, we all know that you and your company and your "Smiling Viper" employees are not the least bit interested in doing the job that we pay them for.

This being said, I would like to hear your comments. Give me a call and explain why no one who works for your company has the time to pick up the God Damn Phone!

See you in bankruptcy court!

And I am,

Kip Addotta

Kip

Cool, but then you can almost always get somebody in SALES . . . if the company is small enough this will also be customer service. If they’re big enough then who cares? The ones that do probably don’t work at the company, just collect dividends.

Pops

Dear Kip

I like your piece and it echos my mutterings while I'm waiting for someone who says the same. Twenty years ago I first heard that message. It was on the answering machine of a friend.... fellow church member. When I didn't hear a response for a week, and I saw this person in church, I asked her if she got my message. "Oh!" she said, "I usually don't check messages on that line."

HMMM. That's when I added "your call is very important to me." to my list of urban lies. "Yes, I'm on the pill" "Let me get back to you on that." "The check is in the mail." "I love you."

HEY!!! Kip, it's Monday. The rest of the week will be better.

Best wishes, Bill

Oakland, CA.

You can't get here from there.

Kip

What are you talking about?

Barry Dianond