Communication Skills!
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Don't let that be your fate - no matter what your age, background, or experience, it is a skill you can learn in spite of how you might feel now. With a little self-confidence, and knowledge of the basics of good communications, you will be able to effectively communicate your message in both conversations and presentations in all walks of life. editSteps
Understand the importance of communicating effectively. It is easy to take communicating for granted because it is a daily activity and yet, just how much thought have you given to the way in which you communicate? Are you aware that: Ads by Google
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The average worker spends 50 percent of his or her time communicating?
Business success is 85 percent dependent on effective communication and interpersonal skills?
Forty-five percent of time spent communicating is listening?
Writing represents nine percent of communication time?
One-fourth of all workplace mistakes are the result of poor communication?
A remarkable 75 percent of communication is nonverbal?
Communicating through speech
Be articulate. It is important to speak clearly, so that the message comes across in a way that every listener can understand. Articulate talk is talk that gets remembered because people instantly understand what it is that you are saying. It means uttering your words distinctly, preferring simpler words over more complex ones, and speaking at a level guaranteed to be heard without coming across as too loud, overly excited, or disengaged. Avoid mumbling. Sound out the words clearly and openly, with the intent to have them heard without error. If mumbling is a defensive habit that you have fallen into out of fear of communicating, practice your message at home in front of the mirror. Discuss what you want to communicate with those you feel comfortable around first, to better develop the message in your own mind. Both the practice and the development of your words for the messaging will build your confidence.Be attentive when listening and ensure that your facial expressions reflect your interestListen actively. Communication is a two-way street and requires you to listen as well as talk. Remember that while you are talking, you are not learning. In listening, you will be able to gauge how much of your message is getting through to your listeners and whether or not it is being received correctly or is being misinterpreted. It can be helpful to ask listeners to rephrase some of what you have said in their own words if they appear to be returning confused or mistaken views to you.
Be vocally interesting. A monotone is not pleasing to the ear - a good communicator will use "vocal color" to enhance the communication. Norma Michael recommends raising the pitch and volumes of your voice when you transition from one topic or point to another and to increase your volume and slow down your voice whenever you are raising a special point or you're summing up. She also recommends speaking briskly but pausing to emphasize keywords when you are requesting action.
Organizing your communications
Be clear from the outset as to the purpose of what you wish to convey. For example, your purpose could be to inform others, to obtain information, or to initiate action. You need to know in advance what you expect from your communication.The 3 points are even more important when you are presenting a speech to a large audienceOrganize and clarify ideas in your mind before you attempt to communicate them. If you are feeling passionate about a topic, you may become garbled if you haven't already thought of some key points to stick to when communicating it. A good rule-of-thumb is to choose three main points and to keep your communication focused on those. That way, if the topic wanders off course, you will be able to return to one or more of these three key points without feeling flustered.
Think about setting the listener at ease before launching into your conversation or presentation. It can help sometimes to begin with a favorite anecdote - not only does it help the listener identify with you as someone like them, it can also help ease you into the conversation or presentation.
Stay on topic
Once you start addressing your three main points, make sure all facts, stories, allusions, etc., add to the conversation or debate. If you have already thought through the issues and the essence of the ideas that you wish to put across to others, it is likely that some pertinent phrases will stick in your mind. Do not be afraid to use these to underline your points - even very confident and well-known speakers re-use their key lines again and again for major effect.Look on the Internet for examples of great speakers in action - there are plenty of role models instantly accessible through videos online - treat them as your "personal communications coaches"!
Recognize people. Sure, you don't necessarily know the people in your audience or that new friend in your group, but they're nodding along with you and looking knowingly at you all the same. This means that they are connecting with you - reward them with your acknowledgment - Nicholas Boothman recommends letting your mouth open slightly in a smile as your eyebrows arch, while tilting back your head just a little "in anticipation", being as subtle as possible. He suggests practicing this in front of the mirror. Communicating through body language
Whatever we'd rather believe, people do judge by appearances. In terms of communicating effectively, this reality means that your body language matters as much as your speech.
Clarity of meaning can be expressed through your body language too Use facial expressions consciously. Aim to reflect passion and generate empathy with the listener by using soft, gentle, and aware facial expressions. Avoid negative facial expressions, such as frowns or raised eyebrows. What is or isn't negative is dependent on the context, including cultural context, so be guided by your situation - be alert for unexpected behavior that suggests you're cross-culturally colliding, such as a clenched fist, a slouched posture, or even silence. If you don't know the culture, ask questions about communication challenges before you start to speak with people in their cultural context.
Effective eye contact and engagement can enhance communication for both parties Communicate eye to eye. Eye contact establishes rapport, helps to convince that you're trustworthy, and displays interest. During a conversation or presentation, it is important to look into the other person's eyes if possible and maintain contact for a reasonable amount of time (but don't overdo it, just as much as feels natural, about 2-4 seconds at a time).
Remember to take in all of your audience
If you're addressing a boardroom, look at every member of the board in the eye - neglecting any single person can easily be taken as a sign of offense and could lose you business, admission, success, or whatever it is you are endeavoring to achieve.If you're addressing an audience, pause and make eye contact with a member of audience for up to 2 seconds before breaking away and resuming your talk. This helps to make individual members of the audience feel personally valued.
Be aware that eye contact is culturally ordained - in some cultures it is considered to be unsettling, or inappropriate. Ask or research in advance. 3Use breathing and pauses to your advantage. There is power in pausing. Siimon Reynolds says that pausing causes an audience to lean in and listen, their interest piqued; it helps you to emphasize your points (the listener can digest what has been said); it helps to make your communication come across as more compelling and it makes your speech easier to listen to. To help improve your ability to make the most of pauses: Take deep breaths to steady yourself before you begin communicating.
Get into the habit of solid, regular breathing during a conversation that will help you to keep a steady, calm voice, and will also keep you more relaxed. Use pauses to take a breather in what you are saying.
How does this gesture come across? Use hand gestures carefully. Be conscious of what your hands are saying as you speak: Hand gestures can be divided into open gestures (positive responses) or closed/concealed gestures (negative responses). Some hand gestures can be very effective in highlighting your points (open gestures), while others can be distracting or even offensive to some listeners, and can lead to the conversation or listening being closed down (closed gestures). Pay careful attention to the gestures as you make them; it also helps to watch other people's hand gestures to see how they come across to you.
Keep a check on other body language signals. Watch for wandering eyes, hands picking at fluff on your clothing, and constant sniffling. These small gestures add up and are all guaranteed to dampen the effectiveness of your message and will result in you ceasing to engage your listeners. Thoughtfulness when communicating
Choose the right time
As the cliché states, there is a time and a place for everything, and communicating is no different. Avoid leaving discussions about heavy topics such as finances or weekly planning until 10 pm at night, for example. That's going-to-bed time and few people will be thrilled being faced with sorting out major issues when they're at their most tired. Instead, leave heavy topics for mornings and afternoon times, when people are alert, available, and more likely to be able to hear what is said and respond with clarity.An intimate conversation Choose the right place. If you need to tell someone something that isn't going to be well received (such as news of a death, a break up, a job loss, a change of plans, or a criticism of their efforts), don't do it in public, around colleagues, or near other people. Be respectful and mindful of the person receiving the communication and communicate to them in a private place. This will also enable you to provide space to open dialog with them about the communication and helps to ensure the two-way process is occurring properly. If you're trying to give bad news in a cafe surrounded by loud chatting and reverberating sounds, it won't have the same impact and you will find it hard to know if your message has been understood. By the same token, if you are presenting to a group of people, be sure to check the acoustics beforehand, to practice projecting your voice clearly, and to use a microphone if needed to ensure that your audience can hear you.
If the phone rings, laugh it off the first time, then turn it off immediately and continue talking Remove distractions. Turn off the cell phone, put away the iPod, tie your dog to a post. Do not allow external distractions to act as crutches that keep sidetracking your concentration. They will distract both you and your listener and they will also effectively kill the communication. Even if the communication that you are having is a difficult one, it will not help the effectiveness of your message if you are seeking comfort or respite through such distractions.
Thank the person or group for the time taken to listen and respond. No matter what the outcome of your communication, even if the response to your talk or discussion has been negative, it is good manners to end it politely and with respect for everyone's input and time.
How to Develop Good Communication Skills
Know what communication really is. Communication is the process of transferring signals/messages between a sender and a receiver through various methods (written words, nonverbal cues, spoken words). It is also the mechanism we use to establish and modify relationships.Manifest constructive attitudes and beliefs
The attitudes you bring to communication will have a huge impact on the way you compose yourself and interact with others. Choose to be honest, patient, optimistic, sincere, respectful, and accepting of others. Be sensitive to other people's feelings, and believe in others' competence.Make eye contact
Whether you are speaking or listening, looking into the eyes of the person with whom you are conversing can make the interaction more successful. Eye contact conveys interest, and encourages your partner to be interested in you in return. In less intimate settings, when giving a speech or when in front of several people, holding the eyes of different members of your audience can personalize what you are saying and maintain attention.Be aware of what your body is saying
Body language can say so much more than a mouthful of words. An open stance with arms relaxed at your sides tells anyone around you that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say. Arms crossed and shoulders hunched, on the other hand, suggest disinterest in conversation or unwillingness to communicate. Often, communication can be stopped before it starts by body language that tells people you don't want to talk. Appropriate posture and an approachable stance can make even difficult conversations flow more smoothly.Have courage to say what you think
Be confident in knowing that you can make worthwhile contributions to conversation. Take time each day to be aware of your opinions and feelings so you can adequately convey them to others. Individuals who are hesitant to speak because they do not feel their input would be worthwhile need not fear; what is important or worthwhile to one person may not be to another and may be more so to someone else. In a world so very big, someone is bound to agree with you, or to open your eyes to an even deeper perspective. The courage to say what you think can afford you the opportunity to learn more than you knew before.Speak clearly enough to be heard. When you are saying what you think, have the confidence to say it so as to be heard. An appropriate tone and volume can inform listeners that you mean what you say, you have thought about what you are saying, and what you are saying is worth hearing. Using proper inflection helps ensure that your listeners hear exactly what you are saying, and reduces possibilities for misunderstanding.
Practice. Developing advanced communication skills begins with simple interactions. Communication skills can be practiced every day in settings that range from the more social to the more professional. New skills take time to refine, but each time you use your communication skills you open yourself to opportunities and future partnerships.
Develop effective listening skills
Not only should one be able to speak effectively, one must listen to the other person's words and engage in communication on what the other person is speaking about. Avoid the impulse to listen only for the end of their sentence so that you can blurt out the ideas or memories that come to your mind while the other person is speaking.
