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"Kip Addotta's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Stories, Songs, People, Places & Things"
Kip Addotta's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Stories, Songs, People, Places & Things
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Auto Repair

Auto Repair!

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Auto Repair Joke


While I was waiting in the auto repair shop's lobby for my car to be repaired recently, another customer came in looking a little frustrated.

"Listen," the customer announced to the owner of the shop.

"When I bought this premium battery six months ago you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It has already died after only six months!"

The shop owner looked quite mortified.

"I'm very sorry," he apologized. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."

Auto Repair

An auto mechanic (or motor mechanic in Australian English) is a mechanic who specialises in automobile maintenance, repair, and sometimes modification. A mechanic may be knowledgeable in working on all parts of a variety of car makes or may specialize either in a specific area or in a specific make of car. In repairing cars, their main role is to diagnose the problem accurately and quickly. They often have to quote prices for their customers before commencing work or after partial disassembly for inspection. The mechanic uses both electronic means of gathering data as well as their hands, ears, eyes and nose. Their job may involve the repair of a specific part or the replacement of one or more parts as assemblies.

Basic vehicle maintenance is a fundamental part of a mechanic's work in some countries, while in others they are only consulted when a vehicle is already showing signs of malfunction. Preventative maintenance is also a fundamental part of a mechanic's job, but this is not possible in the case of vehicles that are not regularly maintained by a mechanic. One misunderstood aspect of preventative maintenance is scheduled replacement of various parts, which occurs before failure to avoid far more expensive damage. Because this means that parts are replaced before any problem is observed, many vehicle owners will not understand why the expense is necessary.

With the rapid advancement in technology, the mechanic's job has evolved from mechanical to electronic technology. Because vehicles today posses complex computer and electronic systems, mechanics need to have a broader base of knowledge than in the past. Lately, the term "auto mechanic" is being used less and less frequently and is being replaced by the euphemistic title automotive service technician. Fading quickly is the day of the 'shade tree mechanic', who needed little knowledge of today's computerized systems.

Due to the increasingly labyrinthine nature of the technology that is now incorporated into automobiles, most automobile dealerships now provide sophisticated diagnostic computers to each technician, without which they would be unable to diagnose or repair a multitude of common failures.

Auto Repair Education

Education is usually post-secondary or secondary vocational education. An apprenticeship under a master or tradesman mechanic is the only accepted method of learning the trade in most countries, with part-time attendance of a formal automotive mechanical training course being part of that apprenticeship. In some countries, it is possible to train either only with a qualified tradesman or by doing only a full-time formal training course.

Auto Repair Australia

In Australia, an apprentice works under one or more qualified mechanics for a period of 3.5 years. During that time, they attend a TAFE (Technical and Further Education) college one day per week for three years. In some states, mechanics are required to be trade qualified and hold a tradesman's certificate in order to work as a mechanic and the workshop in which they work is required to have a workshop licence. In other states, no such licensing is required.

Auto Repair USA

In the United States, several programs and schools that offer training for those interested in pursuing competencies as an automotive mechanic or as an auto technician already exist (see Universal Technical Institute). A few of the aspects usually taught those studying for this career are: Automotive Engines Repair and Performance, Power and Performance, Fuel and Ignition Systems, Drivability and Emissions, Automotive Powertrains, Brakes, Climate Control, Transmission, auto Electronic Fundamentals, Automotive Electronic Technology Systems, Advanced Diagnostic Systems, Automotive Undercar, Collision and Refinishing and many more.

Most reputable mechanics are ASE certified, which is a standardized method of testing skill level. The technology used in automobiles changes very rapidly and the mechanic must be prepared to learn these new technologies and systems. The auto mechanic has a physically demanding job, often exposed to temperature extremes and well as lifting heavy objects and staying in uncomfortable positions for extended periods as well as exposure to gasoline, solvents and other toxic chemicals.

Auto Repair Related Careers

A mechanic may opt to engage in other careers related to his field. Teaching of automotive trade courses, for example, is almost entirely carried out by qualified mechanics in many countries.

There are several other trade qualifications for working on motor vehicles, including panel beater, spray painter, body builder and motorcycle mechanic. In some countries, these are separate trade courses but a qualified tradesman from one can change to working as another. This usually requires that they work under another tradesman in much the same way as an apprentice.

Auto body repair involves less work with oily and greasy parts of vehicles but involves exposure to particulate dust from sanding bodywork and potentially toxic chemical fumes from paint and related products. Salespeople and dealers often also need to acquire an in-depth knowledge of cars, and some mechanics are successful in these roles because of their knowledge.

Pit crews for motor racing are a specialised form of work undertaken by some mechanics. It is sometimes portrayed as glamorous in movies and television and is considered prestigious in some parts of the automotive industry. Working in a pit crew in professional racing circuits is dangerous and very stressful work but usually pays highly. This work is sometimes perceived as being difficult to come by because of the skill levels required.

A mechanic who works on aircraft is called a Aircraft Maintenance Technician. The skill set and techniques are very similar, especially for those working with general aviation aircraft.

Much of the content on this page was obtained from the Wikipedia, which is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License



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All the
Kip Addotta CDs
You've Ever
Wanted!


The Comedian
of the United States

Yes,this is and has been the No. 1 novelty CD in the world. Why? Because this is the CD that contains Kip's hit Wet Dream,The Fish Song that people can't seem to get enough of. The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Kip's "Wet Dream"
The fish song...

$19.99

I Saw Daddy
Kissing Santa Clause

Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives
Kip's Newest CD...
$19.99

The Trouble Hole
The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Great Stand-up...
$19.99

Life In The Slaw Lane The music production on this CD is fantastic,thanks to the collaboration of Kip Addotta and Kim Bullard. These songs will simply make you feel good
Kip's Slaw Lane CD...
$19.99

I Hope I'm Not Out Of Line
Kip did this recording in Newport Beach California. Make Me Laugh had been airing for two years and everyone in the country was turned on to the kid from Rockford,IL. you can hear the sizzle. Listen and laugh
Kip's first Stand-up CD...
$19.99

Kip's 5 CD Collection! Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Save 20% on 5 CDs ...
$79.99

Jokes To Go Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Jokes you can tell...
$19.99

The Comedian
of the United States

Yes,this is and has been the No. 1 novelty CD in the world. Why? Because this is the CD that contains Kip's hit Wet Dream,The Fish Song that people can't seem to get enough of. The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Kip's "Wet Dream"
The fish song...

$19.99

I Saw Daddy
Kissing Santa Clause

Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives
Kip's Newest CD...
$19.99

The Trouble Hole
The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Great Stand-up...
$19.99

Life In The Slaw Lane The music production on this CD is fantastic,thanks to the collaboration of Kip Addotta and Kim Bullard. These songs will simply make you feel good
Kip's Slaw Lane CD...
$19.99

I Hope I'm Not Out Of Line
Kip did this recording in Newport Beach California. Make Me Laugh had been airing for two years and everyone in the country was turned on to the kid from Rockford,IL. you can hear the sizzle. Listen and laugh
Kip's first Stand-up CD...
$19.99

Kip's 5 CD Collection! Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Save 20% on 5 CDs ...
$79.99

Jokes To Go Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Jokes you can tell...
$19.99




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