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"Kip Addotta's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Stories, Songs, People, Places & Things"
Kip Addotta's Encyclopedia of Jokes, Stories, Songs, People, Places & Things
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Appraisal

Appraisal!

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Appraisal Joke


My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he'd still be there today if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.

Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won't have to waste any time.

The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.

How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day.

I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.

Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.

Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.

The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.

If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.

My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.

I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.

Did you hear about Robin Hood's house? It has a little John.

My agent was always smiling. I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a barracuda.

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.

Houses today don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.

Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.

A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.--Frank Lloyd Wright

I bought a two story house. One story before I bought, and another after.

The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you've got an airplane.

This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a downpayment, get a 1st and 2nd mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.

Home is where the mortgage is.

A housewarming is the final call for those who haven't sent a wedding present

The best part of a real estate bargain is the neighbor.

The house was more covered with mortgages than with paint.

Home: A place when you go there they have to take you in.

Charity: A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.

A man's home is his castle. That's how it seems when he pays taxes on it.

Housebroke--What you are after buying a house.

Sign next to FSBO-We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.

This house has every new convenience except low payments.

The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.

They have an all electric home. Everything in it is charged.

My buyers want a new home on the outskirts---of their income, that is.

A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither believes it.

By the time you pay for a home in the suburbs, it isn't.

A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything except make the payments.

The house has a wall to wall carpet and back to wall payment.

A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.

House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren't.

Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn payments.

Homesickness What you feel every month when the mortgage is due.

What is Home?

A roof to keep out the rain. Four walls to keep out the wind. Floors to keep out the cold. Yes, but home is more than that. It is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father. Warmth of living hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comradeship. Home is first school and first church for young ones, where they learn what is right, what is good and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick. Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where children are wanted. Where the simplest food is good enough for kings because it is earned. Where money is not so important as loving-kindness. Where even the teakettle sings from happiness. That is home. God bless it. Ernestine Schumann-Heink

Real property

Property law

Part of the common law series

Acquisition of property

Gift · Adverse possession · Deed

Lost, mislaid, or abandoned

Alienation · Bailment · License

Estates in land

Allodial title · Fee simple · Fee tail

Life estate · Defeasible estate

Future interest · Concurrent estate

Leasehold estate · Condominiums

Conveyancing of interests in land

Bona fide purchaser

Torrens title · Strata title

Estoppel by deed · Quitclaim deed

Mortgage · Equitable conversion

Action to quiet title

Limiting control over future use

Restraint on alienation

Rule against perpetuities

Rule in Shelley's Case

Doctrine of worthier title

Nonpossessory interest in land

Easement · Profit

Covenant running with the land

Equitable servitude

Related topics

Fixtures · Waste · Partition

Riparian water rights

Lateral and subjacent support

Assignment · Nemo dat

Other areas of the common law

Contract law · Tort law

Wills and trusts

Criminal Law· Evidence

Real property (or realty) is a legal term for one of the two main classes of property in the common law. The other class being personal property (or personalty). Although the precise definition of real property varies between jurisdictions, it almost always encompasses land, rights over land and building or fixtures on land. Real property roughly, but not precisely, corresponds to the concept of immovable property in Civil law systems.

This article discusses the ownership of land from the point of view of common law jurisdictions. Other legal geopolitical systems of government have different legal interpretations concerning the ownership of land. Terminology varies in these systems, as well: for instance, heritable property in Scotland; immovable property in Canada, United States, India, Malta, Cyprus, most of Europe including Russia, also South America, Malaysia, South Africa, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and many other countries and continents; and immobilier (real estate) in France.

Appraisal Historical background

Appraisal History of the word

In common law, real property was property that could be protected by one of the real actions, as opposed to personal property, where a plaintiff would have to use another form of action. As a result of this formalist approach, some things that were treated as real property by the common law would not be classified as land by most modern legal systems, for example an advowson (the right to present to the living of a church) was real property. By contrast the rights of a leaseholder originate in personal actions and so the common law originally treated a leasehold as part of personal property.

The law now broadly distinguishes between real property (land and anything affixed to it) and personal property (everything else, e.g., clothing, furniture, money). The conceptual difference was between immovable property, which would transfer title along with the land, and movable property, which a person would retain title to. (The word is not derived from the notion of land having historically been "royal" property The word royal and its Spanish cognate real come from the unrelated Latin word rex, meaning king.)

In modern legal systems derived from English common law, classification of property as real or personal may vary somewhat according to jurisdiction or, even within jurisdictions, according to purpose, as in defining whether and how the property may be taxed..

Appraisal Real property in the Law of England and Wales

English law has retained the conceptual distinction, found in the common law, between real property and personal property, rather than basing its distinction on the civil law-inspired difference between movable and immovable property.

In English law, real property is not confined to the ownership of property and buildings often referred to as land; it includes many legal relationships between individuals or owners of land and land that are purely conceptual such as the easement, where the owner of one property may have some right on a neighbouring property such as the right to pass over a property, and other incorporeal hereditaments such as profits a prendre, where an individual may have the right to take crops from specific land.

English law also retains a number of forms of property which are largely unknown in other common law jurisdictions such as the advowson, chancel repair liability and lordships of the manor. These are all classified as real property as they would have been protected by real actions in the early common law.

In some jurisdictions real property is held absolutely, in England it may still be considered to be carved out of Crown's ownership of all property in the realm. Such distinctions are important in terms of the law of escheat which deals with certain circumstances when property reverts to the Crown when it has been disclaimed by its owner.

Appraisal Definitions

An important area of real immovable property are the definitions of estates in land. These are various interests that may limit the ownership rights one has over the land. The most common and perhaps most absolute type of estate is the fee simple which signifies that the owner has the right to dispose of the property as she/he sees fit. Other estates include the life estate where the owner's rights to the property cease at their death and fee tail estates where the property at the time of death passes to the heirs of the body (i.e. children, grandchildren, descendants) of the owner of the estate before he died.

In the law of almost every country, it is the state that is the true owner of all land within its territory, because it is the sovereign, or supreme lawmaking authority over it. Individuals don't "own" their land, but only "estates" in the land, also known as "equitable interests", such as the transferrable right to use and exclude others from use.

Appraisal Estate law

Estates may be held jointly as joint tenants with rights of survivorship or as tenants in common. The difference in these two types of joint ownership of an estate in land is basically the inheritability of the estate. In joint tenancy (sometimes called tenancy of the entirety when the tenants are married to each other) the surviving tenant (or tenants) become the sole owner (or owners) of the estate. Nothing passes to the heirs of the deceased tenant. In some jurisdictions the magic words "with right of survivorship" must be used or the tenancy will assumed to be tenants in common. Tenants in common will have a heritable portion of the estate in proportion to their ownership interest which is presumed to be equal amongst tenants unless otherwise stated in the transfer deed.

Real property may also be owned jointly through the device of the condominium or cooperative.

Appraisal Economic aspects of real property

Because real immovable property is essential for industry or other activity requiring a lot of fixed physical capital, economics is very concerned with real immovable property and rules like the one regarding its valuation and disposition, and obligations accrueing to its owners. In economic terms, real property consists of some natural capital (or land, one of the factors of production especially in agriculture), and infrastructural capital (the buildings, water and power lines, and other improvements necessary to make immovable property useful for some human purpose). Other fixed physical assets, indistinguishable economically from infrastructure, such as machines, may be stored on immovable property and may require natural or infrastructural attributes (such as running water for a turbine or an isolated location to allow loud noise emissions) hard to duplicate even nearby.

Appraisal U.S. interpretation

In the United States, each state has its own real immovable property law. All states except Louisiana rely on variations of common law for the basis of their real immovable property laws. Louisiana's laws are derived from Napoleonic Code but have adopted some of the common law terms over the years.

Appraisal Types of ownership interests

The law recognizes different types of ownership interests in real property. These different interests, called "estates," encompass different rights. The type of estate held by a landowner is generally determined by the language of the grant through which the landowner acquired the land.

Two differentiating characteristics of estates in land are their duration and transferability. Some important types of estates include:

Fee simple: This most common estate lasts forever and can be freely transferred.

Life estate: This estate lasts for the grantee's life. The grantee is called a "life tenant." Though it can generally be sold, sale does not change its duration, which must always be limited by the original grantee's life.

Leasehold: Leasehold estates are estates of limited duration. For example, an apartment-dweller with a one year lease has a leasehold estate in her apartment. Often, leasehold tenants must pay rent.

If an estate is of limited duration, whoever will take ownership of the land upon its termination has a "future interest." Two important types of future interests are:

Reversion: A reversion arises when a tenant grants an estate of lesser maximum duration than his own. Ownership of the land returns to the original tenant when the grantee's estate expires. The original tenant's future interest is a reversion. Remainder: A remainder arises when a tenant with a fee simple grants someone a life estate, and specifies a third party to whom the land goes when the life estate ends. The third party is said to have a remainder. The third party may have some legal rights to limit the life tenant's use of the land.

Much of the content on this page was obtained from the Wikipedia, which is licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License



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of the United States

Yes,this is and has been the No. 1 novelty CD in the world. Why? Because this is the CD that contains Kip's hit Wet Dream,The Fish Song that people can't seem to get enough of. The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Kip's "Wet Dream"
The fish song...

$19.99

I Saw Daddy
Kissing Santa Clause

Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives
Kip's Newest CD...
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The Trouble Hole
The cuts on this CD are some of the funniest ever recorded
Great Stand-up...
$19.99

Life In The Slaw Lane The music production on this CD is fantastic,thanks to the collaboration of Kip Addotta and Kim Bullard. These songs will simply make you feel good
Kip's Slaw Lane CD...
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I Hope I'm Not Out Of Line
Kip did this recording in Newport Beach California. Make Me Laugh had been airing for two years and everyone in the country was turned on to the kid from Rockford,IL. you can hear the sizzle. Listen and laugh
Kip's first Stand-up CD...
$19.99

Kip's 5 CD Collection! Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Save 20% on 5 CDs ...
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Jokes To Go Great Christmas fun - for Mom,Dad and the kids here... makes the perfect gift to anyone with friends or relatives. Even your dog will like it - G rated
Jokes you can tell...
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